8 million to one

i saw 4 cops – security i thought
well dressed
jovial – handsome – “yo rosie”
“wasssup men” my common reply

we walk toward one of the quiet booths
behind the stairway
i am tired
this is the first time i have been out

out of bed really – to be honest
since the debate
i have been sleeping a lot
depression clings to me

it’s hard to walk
to shower
to try
to care

i see a couple
sitting close together
in a small corner booth
directly across from me

i watch them
stunned by her face
and his calming charm
they were definitely a THEY

obvious for all to see
oblivious to all seeing them
love works like this
i thought

so connected
alone together
in a crowded corner

“that is the most beautiful woman i have ever seen”
i say aloud to dana
she turns to look – turns back at me
“that’s ivanka”

can’t be i said
no it can’t be
it is –
she reassures me

what r the chances i say to myself
as dana walked to the hostess station to ask
i stared at the young couple
as they ate – unaware

i was captivated by her beauty
it blinded me so
i didn’t realize it was even her
til dana walked back to the table –

nodding slowly
she said
it was

dear god
i prayed
guide me
out of here

we stood to move to another table
but i knew i could not stay
my heart i worried
would break again

it did 4 years ago
i won’t survive another one
change ur life
is the prescription

i walked the 5 steps toward her table
introduced myself
she smiled genuinely
her husband was warm and gracious

i told her of my children
some truths about myself
my pain and shame
she was absurdly kind

“i just wanted u to know”
i said in a shaky quiet voice
i then made my way down the large wooden stairway
into my waiting car

the entire encounter
start to finish
was 4 minutes

i wrote a book once
about bashert
the concept of
meant to be

it has comforted me
on my darkest days
when my inner voices scream
u deserved it

as her father has
same as my own

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167 Responses to '8 million to one'

  1. Stacy says:

    Pain, shame, blame…why does it afflict and cripple so many of us? Kind, empathetic, witty female souls so often have such a low sense of self-worth and blind spot when it comes to personal beauty and value. Abuse is never deserved but victims always find a way to make it their fault.

  2. John Nichols says:

    How wonderful to take something ugly and make something beautiful out of it. I found your poem uplifting. May you have peace.

  3. Alison Ford says:

    We love you Rosie. You “deserve” only love and respect for being an intelligent, beautiful woman. You are the light to the deplorable darkness. Keep shining that light for all of us who believe in human kindness and who believe in you.

  4. You have a powerful voice in this world; sometimes we have to do the “crazy” to be heard…just like when you approached Boy George with your shaved head. You are the new Pioneer. Your talents are shifting with your voice. Thank you for not giving up. You have the unique ability to build bridges with your words.

    non est in nobis

  5. Sylvia says:

    You went high – beautifully. Thank you.

  6. Michael Chandler says:


    I loved your poem (a big knot in my throat). Can’t say I’ve been there but still empathize. YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN! Thank you for sharing your thoughts; sharing your heart. I am humbled.

    As a conservative Christian, I admit my predisposition of you were mixed. Your words within this poem truly moved me and I am again reminded of God’s grace. If only we would think of others in such a way so much more regularly. Thank you so much!!

    Peace be with you,

  7. Tammy says:

    I suffer from depression, too. I hope, once this circus is over, your self-esteem is restored and you are once again feeling more in control. ((((Hugs))))

  8. caleb mackinnon says:

    In my darkest hours you gave me comfort. At my most manic moments you shared my laughter. May I just say I wish so many of our countries leaders (especially the women) had spoken out to support you.

  9. Max says:

    u make me cry.

  10. Ellen Poynter says:

    Rosie, what s beautiful poem. Thank uou for sharing the whole experience so clearly and with feeling. I hope you will feel better, depression is so devastating…I am glad this was a good encounter. Get better.

    • K Nicola says:

      I didn’t think you could ever ‘top’ the quality of your performance in “A League of Their Own”, but you did. You are an amazing talent and a credit to humanity.

  11. Kitryn Ellis says:

    When someone makes fun of me,I lash out.I don’t know Donald or you,only from tv.You’re both seemingly unkind at times,quick to stick to your politics & not care about the person of scrutiny on a personal level.However I see you both as funny,quick-witted people with obvious depth & accomplishments.I think Donald has been made fun of for years,responding in like. Truly terrible people don’t raise such loving children,yourself included. You guys should get coffee,w/o cameras.The poem is…

  12. Lynn says:

    I know politics is full of bashing. I know you have said strong things about Trump too, but I just want you to know I prayed for you today. My heart hurts for you. The way he attempted to degrade you is reprehensible. Inexcusable. Shameful. I’m praying that you will continue to work through the depression and find true peace.

    Thank you for sharing your heart.

  13. Holly Moon says:

    Rosie, I am one of thousands of your fans. Remember he is always looking to put others down (and yes I know that knowing that, doesn’t really make it any easier when you are on the wrong end of the stick) but still, in the end he is really only putting himself lower. Ultimately, HE CAN’T TOUCH YOU unless you let him. Be strong, this too shall pass, and I believe, he will end up so low that we can all forget him and his ignorance if given enough time.

  14. Carolyn M Scotti says:

    I believe things happen for a reason, and you running into Ivanka has a purpose. You said she was gracious and listened to you. Most likely she will mention meeting you to her father.Don’t be surprised if good things happen. Sometimes we say things we regret and find no way of making things right until God steps in. Praying for your healing and a full recovery, God Bless you for your courage in walking over
    to Ivanka table and for your humility in writing such a beautiful poem for her.

  15. Melissa says:

    As soon as The Monster mentioned you on the debate, I said, “Rosie has vindication.” Those who were blind to his bullying before no longer are. Even the drinkers of his Kool-Aid. They know. And now you aren’t an isolated case, perhaps someone who had done something none of us knew about to provoke such vitriol. No, it was as we thought. You made a joke as so many have. You just caught him on a more insecure day and now they all are. Insecure. I wish he’d pick up his toys and leave the…

  16. Theresa says:

    Rosie, I think if you watched the debate you should realize that Donald Trump says things in his defense when someone puts him down he sounds like a bully but like all bully’s that is how they react because words hurt, he cannot take it when he is hurt so he lashes out. I’m sorry he hurt you I don’t know what started it but you are none of the things he has said about you. I wish everyone realized how much harm they can do with a few nasty and uncalled for words. I wish you well Rosie but…

  17. John says:

    Not to defend Donald but he is also celeb, like you, obnoxious though, but a celeb, nonetheless. Celebs are easy targets for verbal assaults and intrusions of your privacies. Celebs should be used to that public bashing and just ignore it. Though you civilly unloaded your heart on Ivanka, remember that she may be Donald’s daughter but she is not him. Donald is an ass but he is still her father and she can’t help that. I hope you are not hating her because of her blood.

  18. Jay says:

    You took the higher ground, Rosie!

    I admire you!!



    • J. TILLEY says:


  19. Debra Laudermilk -Burnett says:

    Ms. Rosie,
    Courage is strength. Forgiveness is Grace. I believe the heavenly Father, God, has a plan for each of us… He is the Author of our steps…. still we have the choice to step forward or backward…. forward offers more reward… your chose forward,

    today you blessed my heart, Ms Debra

  20. susan says:

    Good for you for having the guts to walk to their table. She is breathtakingly beautiful and I am sure you are proud of yourself for doing so.

    I want change for our country and I don’t see any redeeming characters in Mrs. Clinton.

  21. Jenny says:

    Rosie, I understand your feelings of depression. I only hope for you and I that we become stronger and see the beauty within ourselves as beauty comes from the soul, we are only borrowing our bodies for a short time. You are one of the many st beautiful women I have ever set eyes on!!!❤️

    Signed, Rosie Fan

  22. Lula Kelly says:

    Such darkness you carry, dear Rosie. You have so much to give, always remember that…and remember who you are!! So proud of you for facing your fears like that, you’re much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You could have easily walked away and never said a word to her. I guarantee you that your going over there made a huge difference to her and won’t soon be forgotten. Sending you positive energy filled with light and love. Always be YOU, there is NO ONE like you and we need you…

  23. Sandi Reimer says:

    I’m a Canadian woman with a disability who could kick this man’s backside in any foot race, and it occurred to me today that this man who decimates women, rates women, denigrates women…is only a 1 in the attitude department, and maybe a 3 in the looks department. Which really makes him only a 2 overall. A man who is only a 2 has no authority to judge a woman based on her looks. None!!

    Rosie O’Donnell, you are gorgeous, inside and out, and I love you. Sending you a tight hug. <3

  24. Donna Borgesano says:

    Great encounter and lesson! Kudo’s to Ivanka for being such a compassionate human being and to you for having the strength to stop and speak! I learned something new with “bashert” and have always said it differently but I’m a big believer! I

    Your poem was from the heart. God Bless you and may your days get easier. I understand depression and you have my heartfelt empathy. Love ya Rosie!

  25. Sky says:

    same as my own

    I love you Rosie.

  26. Rika says:

    GRACE is an awesome thing! Rosie you showed such grace and humanity that we all should honor. You are a amazing human being and a great mother to show such a great example of how to handle a tough situation with such grace and humility! Be a proud mother and celebrate being an amazing and humble woman. Much Love and respect to you!!! Always a fan of your honesty and integrity. My wish for you to be happy and healthy through the good and bad times! And the rest be damned!!

  27. Katherine Kohlman says:

    Trump judges people by their appearance and wallet. He doesn’t care what they have accomplished or whom they have touched. He is everything we should fight against as a species. He represents the lowest common denominator but would have you believe he is the pinnacle of success.

    His words are empty, Rosie. You are a beautiful person. You’re funny, you’re witty, and you have great hair. I can’t count how many times you’ve made me laugh.

    Take those words with you, not his.

  28. Big fan says:

    I love you Rosie!!! So sorry for your sadness, you are a great entertainer, a strong woman, a great example for all of us, an icon, and a national treasure. The Donald is sick!!

  29. Big fan says:

    I love you, Rosie. You are an icon, a strong woman & a great entertainer. The Donald is sick.

  30. Barbara says:

    Hi Rosie! I came here through a link from New York magazine about your poem, which is beautiful. Millions of people around the world love and appreciate you. Please take good care of yourself and continue to hang in there no matter what!

  31. Marie says:

    Rosie, you have always entertained me with your stand up and tv shows and movies. But I’ve always been incredibly touched by your written words. I still have some of your editor’s letters from your magazine. You have a way of connecting to the common thread in all of us. You have such a magical gift. Please get the help you need and help yourself with your depression. I know I cannot handle mine alone. You are such a kind and gracious person which is why it was so easy for Ivanka to reflect…

  32. Peter Brown says:

    I know what depression is like and deeply sympathize, but I want you to know something: Everyone I know thinks as I do, that every word that comes out of Donald’s mouth is lies, filth, and reprehensible. An attack from him is a badge of honor, and you should wear it proudly! LOVE YOU!

  33. I struggle with depression daily. I love what you said about depression clinging to you. So very true. Good for you for taking this step and I know it wasn’t easy at all. Thanks for standing up for us all and being the Rosie that we love. I look up to you and adore you! Hang in there. Huggs

  34. Michelle Calco says:

    Sending you much love and peace. ❤

  35. Anike says:

    I know it’s virtually impossible when depression has its hooks in you, but don’t let that ugly little cheeto change the way you look at yourself. You are a strong, smart, and talented woman. Everything you’ve accomplished has been through your own hard work. You don’t have to take shit from anyone, least of all a baby who inherited all his money, lost more than he had, and only survives by cheating people. He only talks shit about you because he’s afraid of strong women who (in your case…

  36. Lizette C says:

    Remember Ivanka has two parents and I feel her graciousness is learned from her mother. Ivana could have turned her children against their father and didn’t. Ivana has always been a great role model to her children and I would have expected the kindness from Ivanka. I know you also have a heart of gold and would also do the right thing. Ignore her father and hold your head high.

  37. I am not a big fan of yours Rosie, being a former actor and stand-up comedian. I believe that you rose above petty behavior by not being rude to The Donald’s daughter, even though you dislike each other to the extent of a never ending feud. I believe that to a large extent children are reflective of their parents. You gave a good reflection of your parents as did Ms. Trump. You should maybe big enough to reach out to Mr. Trump offering him your hand in peace, which I believe he gladly…

  38. Sandra says:

    What he says about you says more about his character.. Or lack thereof, than it will ever say about you. Keep your head up! Wishing you all well ( and good luck) from Canada.

  39. Beth says:

    Thank you Rosie.

  40. Debbie says:

    I rarely post anything but I want to say it’s a beautiful poem. I’ve thought about you Rosie in all that’s been said in recent times. You were brave to approach Ivanka and brave to share your poem and it’s heartwarming to hear Ivanka was kind. Sending positive thoughts & wishes your way.

  41. Marco says:

    I’m with you. I suffer from depression myself for most of my life. I know how hard it is to go out and be in public. I know how difficult it is when you see someone that brings up memories and emotions. You did something I never can. You walked the few steps and had a conversation. You did great. I was already a fan but now I’m a bigger fan. See you soon on my tv screen.

  42. Delia says:

    I appreciate you sharing this with the world. I can relate to your depression and feeling down and feel less alone in my own depression. I have always enjoyed listening to you speak and love this poem. Thank you.

  43. Suzanne says:

    Good for you for stopping at her table and good for Ivanka for also handling the situation with grace.

  44. Rosie fan says:

    Rosie you have the gift of making people laugh. This gift makes you a beautiful person. I enjoyed your show and movies. Please make more.

  45. Walt Fieger says:

    Always a Rosie fan, have all her shows taped, she has helped me laugh during some tough times. Beautiful poem ! So glad it was a positive encounter! Rosie, you handled this beautifully, with charm, class, and you took the high road! Kudos to you Rosie! Feel better, many people are rooting for you , and love you as I do!? From Walt, a longtime fan!?

  46. Nilsa Paganacci says:

    What is perfect in this Life? 85 years old full of mistakes but no regrets. What is done, is gone. One day at a time.

  47. Sherry Regan says:

    Rosie you are so talented , funny and humble?Let your light shine and guide you out of any darkness or shade you encounter. Remember God has your back.

  48. Flo Bodden says:

    We all struggle with our demons, you just happen to be doing it in the public eye. If you listen to the haters you will never get anywhere, everything you do will have its critics. You do you, and doyour best to tune the rest out.

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