i have forgotten how to blog
do this thing
i used to

no more time
no more need maybe
real life trumps virtual
in all forms

in my craft house
first time in 4 ever
here i would hibernate
sun on all sides

in the winter
i have tense conversations with all
about the darkness
lights r brought in

my studio – playground – garden
organized chaos
a rich persons insanity
written on the walls

adele is blasting on my computer
loud as apple will allow
it is never loud enough 4 me
she n james = it

mothers spirit
travels through her
the one she loved above all others
this – she said – is art

the whole woman
perfectly real authentic beauty
political passionate

the one by whom all others r measured
real or imagined
dead or alive

my mother had nick knack shelves
type setters trays
she bought tiny things
for the empty spaces

26 Responses to 'mother'

  1. Deb says:

    by Gwen Flowers

    I had my own notion of grief.
    I thought it was the sad time
    That followed the death of someone you love.
    And you had to push through it
    To get to the other side.
    But I’m learning there is no other side.
    There is no pushing through.
    But rather,
    There is absorption.
    And grief is not something you complete,
    But rather, you endure.
    Grief is not a task to finish
    And move on,
    But an element of yourself-
    An alteration of your being.

  2. Candace Pfau says:

    when you get back to Miami. Do yourself a favor. Disconnect from everything but the ocean and who is with you. I know it’s hard. She is considered an adult in years but this can suck you into a black hole. In a way I was lucky we didn’t hear from her for 2 years. She found her way. and still is. Aren’t we all, just trying to find our way.

  3. suzy says:

    Heart breaks for you. You, who have consulted and even know personally, experts in the field and are being guided by them-while being judged and whacked by those who cannot possibly know or understand all that has happened. As she begs for bones from gossip hounds, feeling broken and alone, away from a home where love abounds. May all your efforts work out for the best and she finally sees the light and with her dogs comes rolling home.

  4. Shasta says:

    Just saw Chelsea’s tweets…put my stomach into knots. Please universe don’t let her fall into the wrong hands. Keep her safe from harms way. Sending positive energy. Our mental health system is tragically broken.

  5. Hedberg says:

    The final stanza is just brilliant Rosie….hauntingly beautiful. A poem in itself. Thank you.

  6. Katherine Green says:

    Which is better having a mother who doesn’t love or care about you in any way or no mom at all? It’s the same with my father divorcing her and us when we were quit little only to remarry and have another family and pretend we never existed. A mother forever resenting her young children for getting in the way of the party days she didn’t have in her youth. As she tried to sow the oats she resented our needs, minimized our needs over hers. Five children splintered, confused, unsure, never…

    • S says:

      I lost my mom to mental illness when I was 12. She’s still alive but dead to me. I know too well the resentment and abandonment you convey.

  7. ar says:

    The expression is true. “You re only as happy as your most unhappy child.”

  8. Candace Pfau says:

    I can still hear the scream my eight year old daughter made when I told her we were told her birth mother had died. I screamed with her. My worst nightmare as a child became her reality. And my scream felt good. She is still grieving for the mother she never really had at age 42. She and I believe you can never have too many surrogate mother’s in life. Anchor the boat, the sea’s are going to be rough for a while. What is it about the ocean’s roar, the salt spray, the smell that soothes me.

  9. darleen says:

    a friend told me before I had my first child, “being a mother breaks your heart, when they are happy and when they are sad, it just breaks your heart” empty spaces, we all have them.i worry about my kids…fatherless children, he died when they were 6,12,16…now 12,18,21..empty spaces matter what,I can’t fill it for them..heartbreaking..helpless..what do you do when love is not enough? breathe…sun…light… sending you all.

  10. Bobbi says:

    Thx Suzy for the laugh about the PIG. My Mother died when I was 17 and had Multiple sclerosis from my age of 3. She was already gone as her illness. Took her emotions away. Im 61 now and feel the loss every day as Ive become my own mother but long for the approval a mother gives. Also never had children, the saddest part of my life. Rosie, I always look forward to your expression on this topic. Sending my love to you.

  11. Cindy says:

    Thank you for sharing

  12. Deb says:

    Sending you yellow Ro ???

    It’s good to see ur words again ☮


  13. Pamela says:

    Rosie your words can not be compared to any others. I know now why I love you so even though I don’t real know you; You wear your heart on your sleeve and you write with with passion from your soul. Love to U Rosie

  14. amelia says:

    i lost my mother 5 1/2 months ago. i am 53 years old, 54 in march. i still feel like a child and her death is still stunning to me.

  15. suzy says:

    Nick nacks-Reminds me of my late Aunt’s tiny animal collection on a shelf. They somehow gave her comfort, as did her computer-her new lifeline. Admired her modernity-before I even used one. She valued her independence but called once frantic, “Help-can’t get my printer to work!” Took her to repair shop-guy behind the counter said he knew the problem,”It’s a PIG.” Aunt & I were puzzled. I asked “Personal Internet Gadget?” “No” he laughed. A tiny pig had fallen in & was blocking…

  16. Susan says:

    I lost my mother when I was almost 6 years old in 1959. Not a single day has gone by since then, that I haven’t thought about her. I have no children from my body. I am an unstrung bead. I understand you totally.

  17. Carol says:

    Beautifully written. Thank you

  18. Lindsay says:

    Beautiful Ro. You haven’t forgotten.That last paragraph made me cry. Sending you yellow and the soothing salve of Joni lyrics. Peace and love to you, strangerfriend. ♥
    Lindsay Teacher in South Korea (I’m still here!)

  19. Linda B says:

    Praying for you to have peace and love in your life RO.

  20. S says:

    I’ve found that as the kids get older things become more complicated. Things that would bring them laughter and joy so easily every day, no longer fill the house. Having a teenager is like gloom hanging over. Trying to find things to connect with. Ebb and flow of life.