after i heard he died
we went on the boat
to watch the sunset
I felt numb
nothing - empty
his life the Hollywood dream
his death it's bitter truths
lonely
the light once flowed thru him
directly from the source
a shining stream poured out of him
never ending
few can even imagine the high of that
and the confusion it must bring
when u somehow become
what u saw in the others
who came before u
the ones who made u dream of dancing
revered him
fred astaire phoned
the boy from gary indiana
the boy who had the beauty beaten out of him
by the man who gave him life
then put him to work at 5
childhood lost
with no remember when - 2 get back 2
money cant buy it
publicists can deny it
but u must live it
ur truth
so what exactly do we mourn
the man
the music
the myth
we all saw him suffer
as his face fell in on itself
friends and family unable to reach in
he unable to reach out
many made millions
looking the other way
as he invited young boys to his bed
he turned into the thing he loathed
the man in the mirror
had no idea how to change his ways
"i've lived my life the lonely
a soul that cries of shame
with handicapped emotions
save me now from what still remains"
so now the crowds gather
endless tributes
the kind of love and adoration he seemed to crave
and he is not here to feel any of it
breaks my heart in every way
for his children
for the child he was
for the dreams he tried to live up to
i turned the boat around
looking at my 2 young children
happy with the wind in their hair
salty sea spray splashing their tiny faces
a storm was moving in
there thru the clouds
a beautiful rainbow appeared
and finally i cried
compassion
forgiveness
the only way thru is thru
start with u
