took my teen to friendlys
after the game
like i did in the 70's
on commack road

a fribble
a clamboat platter
sense memory
overload

behind us
across the small aisle
sat a couple in their 70's
with a nurse in tow

the woman had alzheimers
advanced
she didnt want any food
"soup is squishy" she stated loudly

parker was facing them - trying to avoid starring
but completely engrossed
we watched the hbo documentary on this very subject
just 2 weeks ago

do u want ice cream ?
the husband asked - sweetly
"no no ice cream i am not eating anything no"
come on now said the nurse - a shirley hemphill look alike

"i hate condiments
i am not eating food
not a bite
this is not ruby tuesdays"

r dessert was delivered
a butter crunch cone with sprinkles for me
a jim dandy sundae for my son
big enough to draw attention

"thats a lot of ice cream for a young man - "
the husband said to parker
we spoke the usual friendly chatter...
then he paused and said

"hey - u look like rosie odonnell"

yes i am rosie odonnell
"no u r not " he replied
yes parker answered - she is
"well he said - how is bill oreilley?"

same as i always i think - i smiled
i dont really know him very well
the nurse was excited by this conversation
turned to the woman to tell her

rosie odonnell -
the woman starred blankly
rosie - odonnell - u know her the nurse said calmly
I HATE HER the woman said - sure as can be

I HATE ROSIE ODONNELL

both the husband and the nurse tried to quiet her
to no avail
"i never watch her program ...
no never cause i do not like that rosie odonnell
i hate rosie odonnell "

they both tried to change the conversation
many times - no luck
i looked over at the nurse and nodded
with a wink - its ok - i mouthed

parker and i paid the bill
and walked out - past their table
goodnight - nice to meet u
"who r u - y r u talking to me?" she said - confused

she then turned to her husband and asked
"where is my soup"

outside in the car
parker said
if it is wasnt so sad
it would be a good skit for SNL